"I Hear the Violin"

I hear the Violin, outside, down the alleyway.
It reminds me of the love I longed to have with you,
Telling a story of how it might have been together,
Melancholy, romantic, mystical, whimsical.
Drunken in love with you.
The phone rings; I ignore.
The beauty of the song has captured me.
Every twist and turn in melody
Sparks my mind, takes me away.
Tears well up inside.
It reminds me of a place I have never been,
The very place I always want to be.
In some ways, I think it might be heaven,
But I know it is really you and me.
The music stopped for a moment.
I heard the chirp of birds and felt the memory of what will come.
Now, again the music plays,
A sad song, a melody broken, a string of notes that cannot find its way.
Searching, feeling lonely, trying to make sense, trying to, trying to make...
Stuck in rut, over and over, the same pattern, but no rhyme,
It tries. It tries! Remembers what it can. It strives to find the memory.
Other noises all around drowning out the music, burying my soul.
Then wait! I hear it! The music of my dream,
Only solitary, tentative. I feel the sense of rhythm. But why?
A joyful tone is not applied.
Where is the heart of the song?
It’s gone.
Still, a hint at the past, my future with you,
Then finality.
It’s over.
Silence, no birds.
Will I ever hear that song again?

Violating Love, Needing Forgiveness

"If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." (Psalm 130:3-4)

There is nothing more important in life than our relationships and the love we show to one another. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that we will violate that love in some way. We will feel bad about it. But, once it is done, there is nothing we can do to make it better or take it back. All we can do is put ourselves at the mercy of the person we offend and decide never to do it again. What we cannot do is ignore our offense. We need to seek forgiveness.

As Christians, we absolutely must forgive one another. Our love for each other is our greatest witness to the world. So harboring bitterness, resentment or condescension is not only a stumbling block to other Christians but to unbelievers as well. In fact, we are commanded to "bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Col. 3:13).

It is a given that we have sinned and do sin against God. But what may be even worse than violating His holiness and putting that wedge of sin between us is trying to play it off or act as if nothing happened (see: 1 John 1:9-10). We need to confess and to show our sorrow and desire to be restored by repenting from any wrong. We need to return to doing the things that please God. As in any relationship, we need to work at restoring the severed trust. Even John the Baptist acknowledged that repentance and forgiveness go together. "He went into all the country around the Jordan, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins" (Luke 3:3, NIV).

Though there is no getting around the need for forgiveness, it cannot be taken for granted. Throughout Old Testament times life after life had to be taken, violently, to satisfy a just God and His wrath against sin. His holiness is so striking and severely in contrast to even our most righteous thought or act. Finally, Jesus came and willingly, amazingly, offered Himself as a sacrifice. He is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world by having taken it upon Himself. The violent wrath of God was poured out on Himinstead of us. "The law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness" (Heb. 9:22, NIV; see also: Eph. 1:7-8; Matt. 26:27-28). Ultimately, it is only God's mercy provided by the blood of Christ that makes it even possible for us to be forgiven. We can only receive it and, likewise, seek to show mercy to others.

We must be forgiving people, knowing that WE mess up and need forgiveness too. In just about any relationship we are going to be hurt as well as happy. Unforgiveness only prolongs the hurt; but forgiveness gives us the chance to grow and helps us to move on. After all, "Love is patient, . . . kind . . . not proud . . . not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs . . . It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

circa June 2001