Far And Away

I have been wanting to comment since Tuesday about the story of our lives. Previously, I said our lives are not measured by any one moment but by our everyday character. A mistake can only be judged by our attempt (of lack thereof) to remedy it. Every moment has meaning only in it's context. So every moment, though not the sum of who we are, is a punctuation of what came before, emphasizing or denying our former deeds. We are always in the process of infusing our lives with meaning, however dull or daring that meaning may be. But let me add...

There is a sense where a moment--a deed, a thought, a word--means everything. Morally speaking, one mistake can render us worthy of eternal damnation. Relationally speaing, an affair could be grounds for divorce. Competitively speaking, if you don't finish the race it doesn't matter how many laps you've run.

When I was in college, I had a real sense of the gravity of each class. When things got hard I knew I could not give up. Were I to give up in that one class I would have disqualified myself for the degree that was my goal. Each completed class validated the ones before.

I understand that life is a journey and destinations are overrated. But mile markers are important and each one is a reminder of how far I've come. I have not travelled thus far so that I could run out of gas in the desert and wait to die. I will not give up. I will finish this race. My life will count.

The only failure is to give up.

"In Love, Alone"

O how hurt the lover’s soul
Who being one had to let go
So that the one could be made whole
And now is left none to console

O how dreary dead is he
Who in his own dull company
Can only hold dear memories
And live in two realities

"rorriM"

Look into my eyes.
Do you feel my pain?
In the mirror I see the pain inside.
In the mirror I see I cannot hide.
I attempt in vain.
Humor my disguise.

Punctuation

I will say this, though. Every present action, whatever we are doing at this moment, anything we do at any given moment, is the punctuation to all things before.

Does what you are doing right now serve as an exclamation point on your life, emphasizing even more what you believe and what you live for? (!)

Are you now in the middle of making a statement with your life, being assertive and definitive? (.)

Or are you now actively contradicting yourself or casting doubt on who have previously seemed to be, or maybe questioning who you have been and endeavoring to make a change? (?)

Though no moment defines us, each moment is a clue to who we are.

Flashback

Can I just ruin a movie for you? Thanks!

Ladder 49 was a good movie. It was a human movie. It centers around an unfortunate occurance. While saving a man's life, a fireman loses his own. This trading of life is traced back (in flashback fashion) to the beginning of our hero's firefighting career, through his years as a husband and father, often risking his life, always loving his family and friends. Yet in the end he dies as, inevitably, we all do. But this man's death was not a tragedy. It was the punctuation in exclamation of a life lived in victory.

The measure of a man is not determined by the last thing he does, be it courageous or cowardly. He shows what he's made of every day.

What if, on our dying day, we did something we would have regretted for the rest of our lives? What then? Is the bulk of our lives negated? Certainly not. Though I agree there is something to be said about a moment in time, we all know that it is the context of a thing that gives it meaning. We can be proud of our past accomplishments even in our present shortcomings. We can anticipate future victories, as well as defeats. But it is the routine and the habit that reveal our character and define us.

In fact, there are times in our lives when we do or say things that are regrettable. Even more telling than that is what we do directly after. We are not defined by our mistakes, but by how, or if, we remedy them.